How to destroy the Earth - quickly.

Let me start by saying I am pro-apocalypse. My fear is there is no God and therefore no end of the world as predicted by the Bible. So we need a backup plan to destroy the Earth. And something cooler than waiting for the ice caps to melt, I don't have that kind of time. If there are no "four horsemen" to look forward to, I'm not just going to sit around and wait to drown.

During the course of my research, I came across a website called World Jump Day who seemed to have a decent idea about getting everyone on the planet to jump at the same time, thus adjusting the planet's orbit and theoretically improving things like global warming and extending the amount of daylight hours. That's fine if you want to save the Earth, but we need to destroy it. I like the idea of adjusting the orbit, but if we are going to get all those people together to unite for a single purpose, let's do something really spectacular. Let's send this Mofo out into space, or careening into the sun.

The problem is, the World can't even agree on a language, let alone whether or not they should all be jumping to correct the orbit. It's times like this I wish Superman was real because he could just throw the bastard at Jupiter like a 13,170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pound softball.

So here's my solution (if you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem I always say):

We take all of our nuclear weapons and ship them to Iraq. Once there, we pile them up and detonate them at the same time. This blast will produce enough power to send the Earth flying off into space. This is the same strategy scientists have for deflecting an asteroid away from the planet, only they would use less bombs. Look it up if you want, or go watch that travesty of a movie "Armageddon".

If we are careful, we can time the blast to fire us of into the desired direction. I say we go for the sun. It will be way more dramatic of an end and it would be way too hard to "lead" another planet on it's orbital path. Have you ever tried to shoot clay targets? Way too hard. And it's not like we get any practice shots.

By strategically selecting Iraq we get the added fuel of all that oil underground to burn and add fuel to the fire as they say. Plus, if it doesn't work there's your exit strategy for the war, accelerated global warming, the melting of a lot more than just the ice caps, and the eventual absolute destruction of the Earth all wrapped up into one.

It's what they call a "win-win".